Friends, Technology, Black Holes

Maths question of the day: A friend recently acquired three capabilities: a cellphone, text messaging, and a facebook account. Another friend has zero capabilities: no cellphone, text messaging, or a facebook account, but does have one linkedin account. Assuming a rate of new capability growth being added to the social queue at a speed of one capability every seven months, how long will it be before the friend without the cellphone, text messaging, and facebook can be called a friend, if I dont get a linkedin account for at least three months? Extra credit for figuring out what to do with the zero capability friend until then. But really, it seems the ability to be active in social groups is becoming like the elite salon clubs of the victorian era, except, instead of good breeding and a relative in the dukery or viceroy, its now dependent on your ability to participate in consumer communication technology, which of course, means buying and buying into the whole new formats communication takes. Do new rules of engagement and cliquey gatekeeper technology affect the social queuing decisions of youth differently, or do they all still read f. scott fitzgerald and catcher in the rye and richard wright (wont go into the devastating imbalance of minority authors in high school required reading lists here) to negotiate the separation of the rice from the chaff of the whole grain rice? Which, its now known, is much, much better for you than processed food.